This post is about love and my personal experience with it. If you follow my Facebook post you will find me traveling about with a senior gent who I met and fell in love with around last September. We met through a mutual friend in Thailand and honestly, I was just going for a one night stand of fun with him. He had these cool frames and name-dropped he had slept with a high school hero of mine: Xavier Hollander. I was game and he didn't disappoint from the hype. He moved on to his seasonal residence in northern Thailand and I went back to work. We flirted through Facebook and I politely backed out until I was at a party where we met up again a month later.
Then here's the kicker: when I invited him to stay the night he said no. I remember the feeling of being grateful for finally getting an honest, clean kill from a man. Isn't that what we always want to know? I sincerely thanked him and then went to bed nursing my slightly bruised ego.
The next morning he was back 'hat in hand' as they say, ready to try again. We started with my leaping into his place for 10 days - and liking it. Then back again two weeks later - and liked it again. By late October we were in love and Michael not really familiar with the phrase "Friends With Benefits" made our relationship official by posting it on Facebook! I shook my head and knew we would have some fun with our 18 years age difference. And no, I have never had a Daddy Fetish, until now. But geez am I having fun. Let me get back to the story.
In December after visiting Michael in Koh Phangan, Thailand I came back home and asked myself what I am doing unpacking again leaving the man I love? I knew this time. No doubts about his love for me, just like I always wanted. Then I remembered a visualization I did on July 30th for a 'tall, thin, white haired man that would challenge me everyday and I would feel his love. Nine days later, I'd met that man. Honestly didn't expect it to happen so soon. I've never felt love like this before. It's in his smile first thing in the morning that greets me. It's the surprises of thoughtfulness in daily small ways that keeps me eager to be by his side for something more. So I did like Beyonce sings about and went back to him on his birthday and proposed. He said yes, in front of forty of his friends, what a guy.
Like a truth bite.
So I did what any, not-quite-secure under her skin woman would do, I retreated. And surprised again, just like in the movies, he pursued. Darnest thing. This relationship has been like a textbook romantic cliche. And we seasoned, sages of the sex, drugs and rock and roll era are surprised as hell to have found the innocence of love as the biggest driver to our lives.
Making time for love has eaten up lots of my time and like a good orgasm, I just want it to last as long as possible. It's going stronger than ever as I leave after a two-month visit. We've learned that time together, time apart in equal measures keeps the romance at the edge of delicious, drunk pleasure and love sickness. But even missing him is a high all on its own.
Return to Innocence
Sexually active by age 5 my eyes had seen too many things to bring back the full mask of innocence. Yet the emotions of love that made everything new and with a slightly rose- coloured tint was emanating from the decalcification of my heart.
Somehow the pins and needles of past hurts had been finally been pulled out and healed. The bounce in my hope levels alone could have been bottled and sold. All that 'Getting In Alignment' stuff I've been talking about has actually worked for me. And if it works for me, can't it work for you, isn't that what all the gurus teach?
Now back to work, going back to Thailand this month to put some classes and workshops together. Chat with you soon.
Peace Joy and Love