How so? I’m glad to see that quizzical but interested look on your face.
In 2011, the Discovery Channel in the U.S. aired research on the function of the female orgasm. When the female brain is in full orgasm it lights up, supplying nutrients and oxygen to every area. Dr. Oz suggested we have three orgasms a week for optimal health. Even the Surgeon General has weighed in: “The real reward is invigorating, energizing, joyous health.” So we know it’s good for your physical body and mind.
It’s natural to us without anyone having to tell us. We figure it out, we’re good like that.
Often religion has poisoned our minds with false stories of hell and damnation for enjoying the pleasures natural to our body. I’m saddened by that and I can’t believe with as far as our culture has advanced we still move like troglodytes when it comes to personal belief systems. What is it about our species that cannot accept or acknowledge instinctual truth?
Let’s look at the concept of self pleasure.
It’s most of the time a solo act for simple, healthy pleasure. Psychologists have led us to believe that we are narcissists for pursuing or giving ourselves pleasure. Really, think about what you are saying. The narcissist is seeking pleasure to excess. But really how can you love your self too much? What is too much love? Is it buying yourself gifts, treating yourself to a cookie, new clothes, a drink or looking at the mirrors in your home. I don’t know about you but when I look in the mirror I’m looking for the boogers hanging out my nose or my hair looking like I just got out of bed. I look for my flaws not stare at my fading beauty.
I know the psychologist's argument is that the selfishness of the narcissist focuses on self and not others. I don’t think that’s narcissism that’s just greedy. Monotheistic religions of our culture have placed the emphasis on giving to others. However, I never see people more depressed as when they are asked the question about what they want to do with their life and they hadn’t found that 'Mother Theresa calling' for themselves.
After 45 minutes of working with them about their desires it always come back to the 'what do you really want to do'? No matter what you are supposed to do, or what you are expected to do, or need to do for survival. Just what do you really want for yourself? It’s the selfish little thoughts that may creep up when you touch yourself and allow yourself a moment of pleasure just to find out.
Who are you hurting and who are you helping? Spouses or partners may complain that you focused on yourself and not them. I contend that you would rather be with your partner if that was a loving option, time or place. We know that the perfect relationship is hard to maintain even with the best circumstances and as we age we gain more reasons to avoid contacts than to make them.
At 55, I can tell you I don’t want to do the work of sex to get to the orgasm. It’s too much work to prepare, cleanse, adjust my attitude, get in the mood; not make a shopping list of things to do before I engage, remoisturize when I get dry, adjust when it’s not working and hope I can manage an orgasm before I’m too tired to care. The brain is willing but the body is weak, until I think: I could probably manage one quickie before falling asleep. Three minutes later and I’m done, muscles relaxed from jawbone to toes. I fall asleep faster, without regurgitating the day.
rocket fuel for dreams
From the gurus I follow like Teal Swan who encourages you to put your intentions into your masturbation practice and use it to manifest your future desires. She’s right - orgasms are the central power that humans have to manifest their dreams. That’s why religion doesn’t want you to know that. It’s like rocket fuel for dreams coming true. So I don’t waste mine and give them my best self. Praying and believing for peace in the Middle East and with my own family and friends. I visualize my future home and bed with my beloved partner and smile into the thoughts. I create a space for far-out fantasies and challenge myself to wonder how big can I dream? How wonderful can I make the world? How much beauty and art can I create? I allow the thoughts to rise in their natural crescendo allow pleasure to seal in what my mind conceives and manifests. That grand exhale after orgasm feels like a big old amen and I giggle thinking about the closing hymn about to be sung by the choir - let’s us go out in the world and me to my dreams.